Wednesday, May 2, 2012

1LW: I knew it was coming...

For the last two weeks I struggled with writing my Wednesday post because things were so awesome. No one wants to read about how your life is perfect and everything is peachy. I wrote and I posted and true to form 28 readers out of my 150 plus read the post. Not one of them commented on it. This wasn't a surprise to me at all. 

I knew that eventually the other show would drop, or come crashing down. I was waiting because I know that when things are good, Satan tries to work his way into our lives and make us doubt. 

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Then this weekend happened. It was just so much.It started with the mail; first came the letter from the tax office saying they think our house is worth more and therefore the taxes should be raised. 

Then came the letter from the bank, the one that states we didn't put enough money in our tax account when we bought the house. So we need to put it in now. Oh and since there wasn't enough then we need to raise the monthly payment as well. 

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So we sat down and revamped the budget. Thought about ways we could improve and really we do pretty good. Some changes were discussed and made. Now I am a worry wart when it comes to money. Hubs is the more grounded one and has to remind me that things are going to be okay. 

So last night as we sat together on the floor in the hallway and folded the basket of clean towels. He he reassured me, he told me that these things are suppose to make us stronger as a couple. Being exhausted from work and mental beat from thinking about money, I looked at him and said, "holding towels together makes us stronger?" He looked at me and smiled and told me that those hard conversations to have are that way because they are important and everything we figured out was great and we are fine. 

The sad thing is I know myself way better than he does, after all I've been me for almost 30 years, he's been around for almost 9. I think I have the upper hand on this one. I will worry and I will stress out until months have passed by and I see for myself that everything is okay. 

Prayer is the only thing I don't think we did enough of this weekend. I was so distraught pouring over closing documents and statements that I mentally never went there. It should have been the first place I went and the last place I went. I'm gonna do better. I'm gonna pray about it every time I see myself starting to doubt or not be able to stay positive. 

Psalm 62:6-8 

He only is my rock and my salvation;

He is my defense;
I shall not be moved. 
In God is my salvation and my glory;

The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God. 
Trust in Him at all times, you people;

Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us.

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  1. Thank you for sharing. It is hard. M husband paid off our house with retirement money (We are in our 50's.) and forgot to pay the taxes on the withdrawal. We were hit with a huge bill. We had to take out a loan to pay the taxes. I can so relate. We've been folding towels for 32 years and God has been good to us. Blessings.


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